her in all her glory

Many years ago I began reading a book titled, "Life Together". It was written by a man who was imprisoned and eventually killed for his fight against Nazi's in Germany. One may never know of his background however, because he decided to write about things beyond himself. He was hung weeks before the wars end. His name was Dietrich Bonhoeffer.


He was a great Christian thinker and produced many books that are challenging and encouraging today. So challenging that I never finished his book, as my view and experience of "life together" with other Christians seemed like such a far cry from what he wrote about.


He wrote things like,
“Christianity means community through Jesus Christ and in Jesus Christ”
“believers are privileged to live in visible fellowship with other Christians”
"the physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer.”


Some of the best friends I have are a result of living in community but some of the most scaring and challenging times in my life are as well. Living in community has meant two things to me the past couple years. One is the actual church in which I attend and give much of my time to and the other is living within the same household or at least nearby and truly sharing life together. These two have been seperate in my life as well.


The church is a place of great brokenness and great triumph. I have been disappointed and rejuvenated, hurt and helped, saddened and enlightened and thank God for my husbands job, because He knows how quickly I would just quit.


But I am in no place to put the church in my own little box like I have for years. I've been seeing the negative, the brokenness, and the weak in church and have wanted to create it in my perfect image. I don't accept her for who she is. I want her to treat me with respect and lovingkindness but when I don't find that, I give up.


Tonight, I have finally realized what Bonhoeffer was talking about. The quote, 'you don't realize what your missing until its gone' comes to mind. I don't have the church in Hong Kong because she is hard to find, and I truly miss her, even with all her brokenness. I'd take a punch in the gut every once in a while just to have the grace and love that also comes with her.


I met with other Christians from around the world tonight and I can't explain the impact it had just being in the presence of people who confessed Jesus is Lord. It was only then that Bonhoeffers words made sense about 'source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer'. Before tonight I took advantage of the church and used her for my own gain.


Again, things come full circle...It seems to me that when you believe in a God that transforms and redeems, things always come full circle.


The first thing I learned in Hebrew. Now I know why.

Psalm 133:1
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity!
שִׁ֥יר הַֽמַּעֲלֹ֗ות לְדָ֫וִ֥ד הִנֵּ֣ה מַה־טֹּ֭וב וּמַה־נָּעִ֑ים שֶׁ֖בֶת אַחִ֣ים גַּם־יָֽחַד׃