15.7.09

before i sleep



what amazes me about fear is that as it comes and goes, it never has more or less power. in this world, it has no power. only we can give fear power. there are times when i think fear has nothing on me and other times when i believe fear will be the death of me. what causes it? why do we let it get to us when we know inevitably, we are not even the ones in charge? is it because we are waiting for the next struggle, the next lesson? or is it because we don't trust? i want to learn to take life as it comes. to live in a world where fear cannot stop me. is this attainable? being far away allows me to see the big picture of my life and realize so much about it. she really is a beauty that i take for granted.

here's to life and all the fear that comes with it. may we be strong enough to face the next moment.

goodnight loved ones.

2 comments:

  1. fear... it is something we all experience. Hang in there sister! I think you are asleep. I'll say a little prayer for you.

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  2. I was just thinking about how fear is heightened at night. Some times during the middle of the night I will wake up trembling in fear. The silliest things will seem so terrible and I won't be able to sleep. Like the other night I said something stupid to a friend and I couldn't let it go, I worried that she thought I was mean. And last night I couldn't sleep because I spent $20 going out to eat and I obsessed about how I messed up my budget this month. Or I have nightmares of being kidnapped, my friend dying of cancer, or Scott selling my kitty and I literally wake up in tears!

    Then the day comes. Thank God for the light! It seems to take most of my fears away.

    Except for my fear of public speaking. And sharks.

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